If I would ask, “What needs to change in me?” instead of “What do You think You’re doing with me?”

Sometimes I want to know exactly where God is and what He is doing. How do I feel so full of joy some days, and others — though He is still as faithful to me as ever — wonder where I am and what could be the point God has in letting me have a lull here?

Yet, would I be concerned with my Rock if I did not experience storms, or feel what it is like to be left behind by what is going on around me?

But don’t take any of this for granted. It was only yesterday that you outsiders to God’s ways had no idea of any of this, didn’t know the first thing about the way God works, hadn’t the faintest idea of Christ. You knew nothing of that rich history of God’s covenants and promises in Israel, hadn’t a clue about what God was doing in the world at large. Now because of Christ—dying that death, shedding that blood—you who were once out of it altogether are in on everything.

Ephesians 2:11-13

These are the words that I need to hear. My prayers have been too consumed with me, too interested in what I’m thinking and feeling, too disinterested in how God overrides what I see and know.

Who is He who these moments of my emptiness-without-enough-greatness-to-keep-my-attention are meant to point out? I go nowhere and find nothing when I ask “God, why?” but, I find Who I was meant to discover in all this nothingness when I ask instead, “God, who are you, and what am I supposed to be seeking after today? What am I NOT seeing of You that is making me feel so disillusioned?”

Let me not try to hold onto what made me feel happy and full of hope yesterday, let me look for more in You, God, than I knew I needed yesterday.