I hate how much I still believe the Liar!

Have you ever had a problem in which you  were trying to make spiritual ends meet and it just wasn’t working for you? I know I have. The reason I’m writing this so early is that I am struggling with that right now.

I am dealing with a strong temptation to let go of God so I can hold onto something else. So often I’ve been so blindsided by anxiety, so caught up in the emotional values of the fearful thoughts communicated to me by my enemy that I have not recognized the ultimate trajectory of the heart-attack.

You see, my enemy (Satan) doesn’t care whether I get disgusted in a huff of discontent, lose my peace in a wave of doubt or surrender my hope to a barrage of fear. All he wants is for my heart to be at some level disconnected from God. He doesn’t care about the rest.

I want to grow in realizing that every temptation that Satan bombards me with is a call to be consumed. A strong suggestion for me to call into question God’s right to fully dwell in my heart. He asks, What is He really doing for you? As if I should just throw out the very idea of Him because I have reason to believe He’s just not “doing it” for me.

I hate that lie! And I need to grow to hate it more. Oh, that the love of God would have such sway in my heart that the outward call to abandon Him would be the bitterest trial I could face!

Enjoy the gifts you’re given in their time

Whatever gifts from God you’ve got lined up in your life at present, know that each one is something that God in His grace has stored up for you. He knows you so well that He can and does select just the right season/occation specific gifts to scatter throughout your life.

Now more than likely you have been finding something wrong with His gifts lately. Maybe they’re not new enough, or maybe they’re just too new for you. But the likelihood of God’s gifts changing appearances is not a bad thing.

Whether or not things look a little different today, God will take you beyond the packaging to grace in its purest form. Regardless of positive or negative feelings, God is keeping you from getting bored with His gifts and He is increasing your spiritual sensitive to what He’s doing. These things are especially important in light of how incredible grace is.

What God has given you on hand today is an inheritance that needs to be exhausted now. This is all you can do in this moment — besides praying for more appreciation for grace in the days to come!

Remember He who remembered you

Remember the Lord; store up the incidents when mercy was indescribable and you knew that Christ was your life. Build up your spiritual memory bank and God will not go faint to your eyes in times to come.

Don’t run dry on thoughts of the Lord and His goodness to you when you are in a trial. You need examples in which you can supplant your mind in the midst of your struggles to be able to take captive every thought that is against God, bringing it into submission to Christ.

Closer Look

I wanted to look closer at my life, until we (God and I) did. I thought God could only approve of me if I held onto my pride, believing that I was good enough to be okay-ed by Him. But, God didn’t agree. He didn’t have any need for my pride, much less a desire to allow it to hang around.

I, on the other-hand was perfectly fine with that arrangement. I needed my pride — it went with me, it made me, it helped m…Yes, it was just all together necessary to who I am and what I do.

Yet, God was insistent that He didn’t need it. He couldn’t call it an asset because it was so much of a spiritual liability — requiring frequent payments of interest and hefty fees for continued management. He didn’t want that; a lenient treatment of it now would only serve to hurt us both more later.

So, with my best interests at His heart, He suggested surgery. But, not realizing His heart could be so generous to me, and still disagree with my own, I resisted. I do not relish going under the knife. I see it is an act that precedes death, an approach often deemed ill-conceived later.

Yet, I’ve found that God doesn’t see heart-surgery that way at all. It is His hands that operate; and it is sin that He must remove. The transformation in this case is not like cosmetic surgery chosen to improve an already favorable appearance, but an emergency treatment to cut off the threat of harm to other organs and the spread of death.

And He does not deem this as harmless or painless, for He knows what I don’t: to be effectual it must be painful, making me aware of the harm I should otherwise be left to cope with on my own.

So, taking a closer look at me, and what needs to be done, leads to a closer look at Him, the One I need to do it.

God, will You follow my rules?

I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.

He won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.

God’s your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.

God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.

Psalm 121 (emphasis mine)

A couple of weeks ago the Lord was dealing with me in how I like to try to separate the secular and the spiritual. I like to think that God can be found in little windows of time and place, and no where else. I like to think that I only find God when I am looking for Him; that I’m the one in charge of where things go with us.

But, how could I think that? How could I want to think that when I need Him so much? I go through a time in my life when I don’t know what it means to emerge from the other side of the tunnel, and I hold onto the idea that God is with me everywhere, knowing everything, for dear life! Yet, when the tunnel disappears in the background, I forget what it was like to be there. I wonder if it was all real, or just my gut response to things I didn’t like about my life.

But even if everything in my life is not much more than my response to things, I cannot explain why I am responding better now without saying that God did something I still do not completely understand. He gave me faith that He will see me through to the other side, and hope that this will all turn out for my good because I love Him, and He is loving me in all that I’m going through.

So, my question is not really am I where God wants me to be, or am I doing what I’m supposed to, but what is God trying to do with me? Though there is such mystery in my life, and I am often so unsure when I take a step ahead, God doesn’t mean for me to figure it all out and make the best cut of my life, but to give me every reason I need to trust Him and let Him lead me where I need to go.