The good in Him I never saw…

There is good, I just couldn’t see it. He is wonderful, but I wasn’t in contact consistent enough to see that. He needed to show up in my life and lead me through such personal discovery of who He is. He is caring, but a revelation of His presence and primary procedures would be absolutely necessary.

I needed God to show me God for me to believe with all my heart that He is who He says He is.

What if…I am just afraid

A new creation. The old losing its place to the new. This is us who are in Christ. Our story is brand new — the work of a saving God who searched out the depths of our depravity in sin and has renewed our story for His glory to take hold of us this time.

I don’t always know if I believe in this new reality idea. Sometimes it seems a long way off from what I know to be true. Can this be new, a new revelation of what I am supposed to be and know in Christ?

I am not always sure that I like what I’m seeing. I often feel like I’m much the same as I was before He brought this change. I wonder in discontent,”What if I never see the end that He promises?”

But, what if I am just afraid? What if I’m afraid to trust God because my soul feels weary and I don’t want to be dragged through the mud another time? What if I don’t feel filled up inside, and I don’t know how to live when He lets me be filled with just enough for today? What if I just have a problem with knowing I’m imperfect?

Being a new creation is not a fresh reason to boast about myself. Truly nothing God does can be expected to revitalize my pride. Surely its vital signs are strong enough for all of us at this point. Instead, He works to bring about that death – this is that new creation continuing to be revealed in all its providence.

Humility is the beauty of this new existence; this living that is no more for self, but now always for Christ. Humility is only accomplished when the bane of our regenerated existences is crushed. Every trial, sorrow and pain can accomplish this. Watch those instances when you are maligned, disrespected and granted an offense, and you will find God working in it all to make of you who He wants you to be.

Now, don’t mistakenly boost yourself up in the hope that He is making you a better person from all this. He is not building you a stage from which you can stand and project to your new-found enemies: “look how godly God has made me because of you — watch how I exalt Him!” Rather He is building Himself a stage, and you make up the total of raw materials. He is calling you to praise Him from wherever you are, that His (not your) enemies may find out who He is while they are in your life.

We have new creation not merely for our own sake, but for the world’s. So, if it seems like it’s not doing much for you, maybe you should ask yourself what it’s doing for other — particularly those who don’t know the One who is responsible for all of it.

Let’s not forget that everything that God gives us has a high and holy purpose. We must cease to look at these things with our low and unclean purposes or we shall surely find that we cannot enjoy or execute the heavenly intent behind them. God is the One that moves these things, making them appear to all around that they are what they are.

The work of redemption is alive within our bodies, may the death around us not distract us from it. The life is in Christ and not in how well we feel, or how compelling our sense of it is. Our mission is pushing us to go beyond ourselves to the place where we can meet Life face to face — and  then run out to tell every one we meet all the details we have been given of the One we all long to know.