Security is a blanket
laid upon me with the gentleness
of the Father’s touch.
He clothes me with the safety
of His presence
and comforts me with the warmth
of His love.
I learn that I can rest beneath
the weight of the divine covering
it is His glory
When God breaks in on you and you can’t handle Him…but somehow He holds you.
When God doesn’t make sense but He softly reminds you to trust Him anyway.
When you see for the first time that God is God and it’s such a good thing that you are not.
When you worship with your heart in puddles before Him.
When you learn that this world will always offer you pain, but God is still with you in it.
When you can’t think of anything but Him despite all the problems you’ve got going on.
When you are changed in His presence and you can’t explain how He did it.
These are just a few examples of when a broken heart isn’t a bad thing.
I have asked this question so many times. I have been confident that the answer is no; that God does not care about me so much as I would like Him to; that He is somehow too passive to deal with my pain as it should be handled.
But how should my pain be handled? I generally look upon my surroundings and wait for Him to do something grand. When I think He’s taking too long, I summon all my understanding of the matter and scream: “Get rid of what’s out there! Can’t you see it’s killing me inside?”
But lately, I’ve discovered something new. I been learning to draw near to God with an open heart. I come with a deeper concern than what’s going on outside. I come expecting Him to do something inside. I do this because that’s where the pain is; that’s where I really need Him to do something with me; that’s where His presence will make the grandest difference I know.
With grand expectations of a heart visit, I ask, “Would You please come inside? I’m hurting so much and I need You to handle me, Lord. Don’t skip over me to handle my problems, please, Lord; instead, skip over my problems to handle me. I am the one who needs you–I am the one that was made for You. I am the one who will rejoice to experience more of You. I am the one to whom You must draw near. I am the one You must pull close and reassure. I am the one You must quiet with Your love. I am the one who discovers who You really are and loves You more because of it. I am the one who thanks you because all of this is true and most of all You are true!”
What do you do when everything is not okay? How do you live life when it is no longer possible to pretend that’s your life is all right, that you know how to deal with the horrors you’re going through?
This might surprise you, but I don’t think we do anything in the common understanding of the word. Instead, we sit and watch. We ask God for a greater vision of what He’s doing and we trust Him to bring to pass what He reveals to us.
We use the time in front of us in a way that says “I’m letting God do what He’s doing with me. I’m not going to get in His way–though I’m surely going to be running His way a lot!” We recognize that we’re not going to come through this without His comfort. We believe that because He will give us His comfort, our entire test will become a blessing.
We don’t do this because we want to impress God. Neither do we do this because we hope our sheer willpower can make us more righteousness while we fight. We do this for such a higher reason: We do it so that we may not forfeit an opportunity to treasure the presence of God in moments He wants to redeem. We treat days and years and seasons of pain and pressure like missives written in code. We consider ourselves loaded down with grace not because we see so much good but because we know God does.
He knows where we are, and He may not move us, but He won’t let us mistake that He is right in our midst. Trials teach us to welcome Him in with greater abandon. The teach us that He defines our hope and that no one or no thing can cripple Him though they try to cripple us. We are safe in His arms. What ever wants access to us, to destroy us, must go through Him first.
Trials also bring out the sin in us; they impress us with the magnitude of what Christ did for us at the cross. They remind us that our greatest enemy has been vanquished. They encourage us that we are not beholden to our former orientations–we have been raised to live for Christ.
There is nothing to obsess over. There is only to walk the path He made ready. There is really nothing for us to settle, nothing for us to make right. God has done all that. He simply invites us to enjoy it, to come into the kingdom He has set up. After all, God allows trials in our lives because He wants to get us acquainted with what He can do, what He has done; He knows how handicapped we are when all we know is what we can do.
Do you ever wonder why God wants so much precedence in your life; why He’s so picky; why He’s so intent on getting you to stop living except that you are living for Him?
I know, crazy isn’t it? But maybe we should let Him answer that. Maybe we should tune our hearts in to hear His heart: To learn what makes His heart beat differently. What might He say to our many challenges if only we would put them before Him and be willing to receive His response? He might say something you don’t expect. He might warm your heart. He might do something with your heart so that it can be warmed.
Regardless, He speaks. Here’s what He says to me. (In your heart language it might be a little different, but the message is still the same.)
My heart wants you. In all the aspects of who you are I want to be a part. I want no broken pieces that aren’t Mine to hold; no bits of stained-glass beauty that aren’t for My eyes to enjoy.
Your life was meant to be Mine to shape; if you forsake this design, you not only forsake Me, you forsake yourself. My child, you don’t know what you’re doing it. You don’t know how to handle or fix yourself. That wasn’t supposed to be your responsibility.
Let Me do the job. I am your Expert; the One you are to run to with all your personal matters. I created the job–the delight–of caring for you; I won’t yield it up to anyone else. You must force Me to step aside or I will make My presence and My love fully known to you. I will develop My love-seed in the soil of your heart and make you the supporter of its produce alone.
You will love Me and My words will be life to you. But don’t expect to do this yourself; I will do it to you. And you will rejoice when you see it. Just you wait!!