Waiting, Trusting, Watching

It’s one thing to give your life to God, and it’s another thing to follow Him through everything that comes next. I like beginnings, personally — that fresh-faced excitement and seemingly boundless vigor that identifies so many things that are in their infancy. I don’t often like that awkward stage that follows, when we’re not really sure what’s going on and what comes next. Everything we had come to expect while we were in that first stage now seems completely irrelevant. The future is not as crystal-clear as we once thought it looked. We wonder what we should be doing with ourselves, now that everything we once recognized as our normal course appears to be missing in action.

Should we abandon the mission altogether, or just try learning to adapt to a temporary shift in priority?

Have you ever had these questions about your life and what God is up to so mysteriously? Perhaps you are feeling a little disgruntled right now because you don’t remember getting His heads-up memo. You liked how things were not far back and you are not taking too kindly to all the sudden change in your life. Maybe you even thought that you and God were partners, meaning that He would clear anything new He wanted to do with you before making a move.

Well, might I suggest that He already is? Think about it, if you are working with God — that meaning you are seeking out His purposes and perspectives — then He could be revealing to you what you asked to know, as we speak.

You see, God will not always map-out for us everything He has in mind for our lives — sometimes what is most important to Him is our trust. Yes, we could feel better right now if we knew we could sign-off on the whole thing He’s got planned for us, but why can’t we?

God’s not getting in our way, we are. We think that trust needs to be earned and can never just be warranted — even by God. But why not? Because we want to believe that we are the ultimate judges of character. But what does that say about our own? We only trust what we can see and fully identify; we trust only what we can know by our own calculations — we are a long way off from faith. We are sight-dependent believers who don’t really know their God.

The Cost of Being Used

All my life I have wanted to be used. I wanted to be a vessel that pointed others to Christ, and caused hearts to rejoice in all that He could be to a person, starting with me. But, I didn’t know that it would come with this price-tag.

To tell you the truth, shopping for and purchasing this is choosing to pass by all the bargain-buys, in search of the most priceless object. I want that priceless object, but I don’t like living in poverty and patience that I may continue to hope I will fully obtain it. I was hoping to gain this, and some other nice things on the side. But, right now, in so many ways, this is all I have.

Yes, it is all I need, but I have not reached that high and lofty place (which I’m not sure exists) where I don’t want anything else. In fact, the more I pursue this one thing I find in Christ, the more persistently He makes me aware of just how many other things I am trying to find satisfaction in simultaneously.

I want it all, but I don’t want it all to be found in One place. I want my treasures to be spread out before me, that no matter where I go, I may have riches in full along the way.

But, that is not so for me. I only have one option if I want lasting rewards. The richest gain I know comes with an across the board loss. I am stripped of all other things, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him. No other things are needed for me to find contentment or comfort or care. I need Him. Period.

Now, if I can just learn to live this and love it. If only the treasure would wax so gloriously in my estimation that I could agree with God that the cost of laying aside my dependence on all other things is more than a worthy payment to commit to the advantage of being filled with Him!