Are you having a problem choosing God for your life?

How do you see the gift of eternal life that God has to offer you? Do you see it like a type of security that is largely impersonal or a love-debt that is capable of stirring your heart to pour out love in response? You may be thinking, How could my heart ever be stirred concerning God? How could He ever be Someone whom my heart regarded with anything but cold, bitter emotions? God and I are not on good terms, never have been. And I don't expect that to change. I'm not even sure if I want it to.

As sacrilegious as you might think that confession is, it can actually be a person's most realistic starting point for relating with God. The point in exalting God is not that we would be dishonest--merely telling Him what He wants to hear--but that we would learn who God really is and that such knowledge would open our hearts to a true relationship. If you don't feel ready for such a relationship, perhaps you should take some time and investigate more of who God is. Gather the facts and let them work away at your mind; measure them against what you've always been taught and never thought to disbelieve.

Take a trial run. Ask God to let you find Him and to show you how to respond when you do. You may be wholly surprised by what God wants to lead you into and, also, by what He wants to get out of you. It may not be quite what you've surmised. Perhaps you might conceive for a moment that what God has in mind for you and desires from you would be a joy. He thinks you're pretty special and He doesn't want you to miss out on falling in love with Him. He wants the adventure of a lifetime and eternity to be yours: the unfolding of a passionate promise of relationship with God.

You won't know what it's like until you're willing to find out. Then, when you are, you'll encounter wonders like no one could have told you existed. Your heart will palpitate with ringing exclamations from the inside: "This is life! I've got it. And no one's gonna take this gift from me. Hallelujah!!" Don't picture yourself saying hallelujah? That's okay. Trust me, when your heart becomes unfettered and free in the love of God, whatever you come up with will be a form of hallelujah that is precious, a treasure shared by only you and God. It will be a prize resting so deep in the soul that none but you and He can fully know.

If you've been looking for life, this is where it is. Don't delay, honey--go for it! Your heart is begging for this. Don't let your inexperience be a worthy deterrent. You need this more than anything else; God wants to grant you this gift's joy more than any other joy. This is the jackpot to top all jackpots. It's life without end and liberty without limits. It's the uniting of you and God. It's more than something that makes sense; it's a truth too big for us to dissect or escape. Life is here and if you dismiss Him, He won't contradict you. You may choose no life if you want to. But then, what remains in the absence of life but the default of death?

Backdoorsman evangelist turns guide to the great outdoors!

My whole personality has been dictated by a fear of being judged and rejected/denied love and acceptance. My patterns in living have been for the self-seeking purpose of staying alive and keeping within the edges of boundaries that made it okay to be apart and unassociated with anyone who may appear dangerous to me.

Needless to say, this approach has not previously led me into contexts or subjects of conversation that enabled me to share my faith with anyone — unless I could be sure that I would not only be well-received but eagerly welcomed.

Yet all this time God has had in mind for me speaking to far more people about Him than this severely restricted group. I knew this in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t conceive of it being reality for me — at least any time soon.

Still, the sweetest reality of my existence is that God doesn’t live according to my poor vision and timetable. He has big purposes and the best possible means for bringing them about in my life.

Just recently I have been seeing how this is true in ways that are new to me. Everyday avenues of communication and socialization have taken on a greater purpose for me. God has put them before me, inviting me to let Him make of them nothing less than portals for presenting the gospel to the people around me. As wonderful as this experience is, this blessing didn’t come overnight; instead, it has come upon me slowly, as I have personally learned to let God come and inhabit every part of me — becoming everything I know and enjoy of existence.

I have learned who He is and how that identity plays into my life — how the character of God can become the very anchor of my soul and delight of my days. Because God has become accessible and extremely valuable to me through the continued work of certain trials, the burden for Him to be known by others has grown in heart.

To be honest, the catalyst to this “backdoorsman” evangelist becoming a guide to the great outdoors was nothing less than the love of God. This which comes from Him and runs back to Him. Love that makes us a drive-through along the way. A stream that must continually pour through us. The rushing, slowly corroding, and yet life-infusing waters which our heart terrain must embank. It is this everlasting flow running deep and wide within us that will not be able to be stilled or kept from overflowing to those who are still thirsty on the river’s edge.