Wholeness isn’t about needing God less…

can it
that You promise to make my heart
at the same time
You give Your consent to the stirring up of
anxiety that hides beneath the surface of my tender
heart? how can You make anything better, inviting every
to get as awful as it
…is there anything about You that makes sense? your best
leaves me baffled, but healed.
isn’t about needing You less, but wanting You

What can hold back Your light, Lord?

You let me live in darkness
that searches
and sifts my soul,
yet is there any possibility that
its taunts
could ever succeed
in holding back Your light?
I struggle in a fight
that reveals the weakness of
my greatest strength,
but can my struggles
obscure, for a moment,
Your strength?
Must I leave my eyes
upon the shattered remains
of my ability,
when nourishment waits for me
in the winsome
contemplation of Your Love’s
control of me?

Thanks for keeping my story

Thank You for being with me in the story
when it no longer feels safe
or fun;
when I want to bail
and I need someone to comfort me
but also give the perspective
I need to stay on track.
You not only choose the routes
I take (and the ones that come to take me),
You are with me through all the changes
that I couldn’t handle on my own.
You make the story.

You were…everything, every time

You had dreams for me
when my father didn’t.
You held me
when my mother couldn’t.
You saw me
when the one I liked didn’t.
You believed in me
when I didn’t know what I could be.
You stored Your heart in my chest
when the world told me I didn’t measure up.
You showed me what love looked like
when I thought only hate could endure.
You heard me
when my cries didn’t reach beyond a whisper.
You esteemed me
when Your love alone could make the difference for me.

Life with God is a waltz between Mystery and Delight

Has God ever done something small enough
for mankind to fully see?
I ask you to think about His greatness and
take a moment to wonder
how we could have grown so familiar with
One whom we can gain no measure of
nor remove even one unit of mystery from.
Consider this, and take a pause to let it sink
into a deeper place than you usually let your heart
Anything that bears the Name of our Mighty, Earth-Shaking Creator
we can only absorb in portions.
Like the servings given to us,
one at a time, when we attend a grand feast
are those things which God prepares
for those who move
and breathe upon His earth.
His abundance always exceeds what we could
legitimately sample,
and yet God does not limit the selection.
Rather, He begs us to let all this excess that we cannot manipulate in some way
point us beyond ourselves
and what works for us
to the One for whom we were meant to work
and ever bring delight.

If my life should be a song–could I really sing it along with You?

What would be the soundtrack
if I should
one day happen to hear
God singing
the life behind my years?
Would the rhythm be composed of lilting melodies,
blended to lift the soul,
or would dark journeys of sound constantly converge,
bringing distress to the
very deepest parts of me?
Would it kill me to encounter
the unvarnished tension in the story
He would tell
or would I revel in the underlying current of strength
He held out to me
in every detail?

Would I long to join Him in the song
that flowed from His mouth
or would I faint at the idea
of being so personal with Him?
Would I let Him sing the song alone because I
was too afraid to lift my voice and let what’s inside of me
be heard?
Would I think it important enough
to expose everything that’s in me
to perform
this Original alongside its kind Composer
or would I prefer to sit back and critique
its taste
and discredit its potential for great acclaim?

I pray that mine should be a heart
that swells at the opportunity
to join my Maker in a song that bears His name
and reveals His heart in every
harmonized moment
between He and I.
I hope that I should gape in wonder at the interest
He would take
in my every weak attempt to carry the tune;
yes, wonder that He should
infuse each wayward note
with His own rich scales of
pure and undying Love.

With One like this behind the music of my life,
how should I keep from
embracing forever
this final lyric of joy: