Needy-one, meet The Needy Meet-er

The lock slips into place with the ping you’ve been anticipating since the last time you were here.
Instinctively, your head falls back and your chest rises–doing all you can to obey the inward demand for oxygen.
The darkness settles on your shoulders, quieting the ache of being so long un-held.
Hushed and waiting, this atmosphere offers privacy in exchange for the secrets you’ve been keeping.
Fear, rejection, the-sense-that-no-one-hears-you are foreign here; you’re too busy meeting the One who’s welcoming the real you.

This started as a description of the moment we slip into seclusion, inviting sin to be our companion for uninhibited expressions of our deepest lusts.
As I typed and retyped, trying to figure out where this sketch was going, God tinkered with my perspective and loosened my hold on the ending.
I began to see that the point in time I was illustrating was not necessarily one that was “fixed” as an instance of compromise. Instead, our encounters with temptation are often preceded by an acute awareness of our deepest needs and the failed conquests we’ve made concerning them.
But it is not as if there are needs we hold inside that may only be fully addressed in the darkness, out of the way of interference from anyone. Our sense of need is, ultimately, designed to invigorate our pursuit of relationship, intimacy and increasing vulnerability.
When we accept an alternative to drawing toward another, we dismiss the very object of our need. It’s true, our fellow men and women often leave us adrift rather than welcoming us aboard the beautiful vessel Fellowship. This is painful, but is it not purposeful? Our hearts look about with renewed expectation–wanting nothing less than to meet the One Who is deeper than all of our needs.

Why, this must be home…

“Just thought I would say hello, God,” I breathe. The stillness stirs me up inside; my heart desires His fellowship–communication with Him in the deepest places I possess. “I don’t know what You have in mind for today, but before we begin, could You come and be with me for a while?” This has become a familiar, though not perfectly consistent, refrain of my heart. He hears it and draws near. I don’t know how to explain it, but I can tell that I have His fullest attention; that He is here to be with Me and let Me know Him now.

I am excited. I don’t know any other way of responding. He is gentle and He is quiet, yet I do not find Him boring or unable to relate to my heart. Instead, the opposite is true. He relates to my heart in a manner that bares no resemblance to anyone who has ever interacted with me. He has no match in His ability to draw me out and draw me near, all at once. He handles me as though I were His expertise, as though He could not go wrong with me–could not fail to understand what was right concerning me.

If such things delineated the bearing of someone else I had not yet fully come to know, I think that I should be quite uncomfortable but it is clear that such knowledge and purpose are His prerogative because I am His and have always been His. Truly, I have not known this for any time equal to eternity, but it matters not: He has known and imparts the security of that reality to me in His own way. You see, in being in His presence I have found what I did not know I was looking for; what I did not know was missing or must be relocated; what must be Home. God is here and I know that I belong with Him…so what else could I call it?