Amazing. I like that word. I also like the idea of it labeling all the particulars of my life. It would just sort of be…right, you know?
Yet, the life I live is not always loaded with amazing. Sometimes the concept actually seems quite removed from what I am experiencing.
There is just too much boring and stressful and confusing–maybe even heart-breaking–in these days to match the dreams I had while I was growing up.
Rather than living what I have imagined, I am living something…else. I don’t really have words for it–beyond discussing what it is not.
It frightens me to realize that my lack of control over my life even extends to an inabilitity to describe where I am, what I’m living through, and why it’s not more in line with what I was expecting.
But, maybe all my problems with reality are one: I’ve been insisting that Amazing must be more than just the identity of my King, but that of my whole life as well.
In the end, though, I have to ask myself: What is my life, besides a vehicle for the Amazing One to make Himself known?