God is not a caught-it-all-on-paper God

God has me in a place
where I am compelled
to ask for more than I
would ever dare to otherwise.
Is that not a good thing?

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I cry because I dreamed hope was more than You

I cry because I can’t
understand,
I cry because it doesn’t
seem fair
that I should be put
through this
again.
I cry because what I dreamed
seems so far away.
But You’re here
assuring me
that things are different
this time,
You are with me
and I can deal with all
because grace is mine
for everything that breaks
my heart.