Wholeness isn’t about needing God less…

can it
that You promise to make my heart
at the same time
You give Your consent to the stirring up of
anxiety that hides beneath the surface of my tender
heart? how can You make anything better, inviting every
to get as awful as it
…is there anything about You that makes sense? your best
leaves me baffled, but healed.
isn’t about needing You less, but wanting You

What ifs might beat the rewards we find in bliss

What if You chose to make me
like You,
more than You chose to make
me pleased
with never feeling the need
to question
the sanity of Your behavior or
ask why
Your heart doesn’t agree
with mine.
Maybe change, when You
bring it,
is more useful
and precious
than a thousand days
of bliss
that never get me
any nearer
to Your heart than I was the
day before.

What if Your love…changed my questions?

What if Your love
is not meant to be contained
in a single day,
or revealed in the answer
to a solitary prayer?
What if Your love
is bigger, deeper
than the bite-sized portions
I make of my life,
when I try to judge whether
You are good
by what I like and what I
What if my life is a whole
that was not meant to be divided
because You are most
personal to me,
when I stop trying to see You
through the details
and begin to see the themes
through You.