“You have trained my thoughts in grace, Father,” I intimate with wonder. “Before you took on my need, I did not know how to think with any rightness.” How I know God remembers my error-plagued ways. For years I could not see one concrete evidence of His kindness to me. Nothing that I would initially acknowledge as a blessing remained in my consciousness beyond that first moment or two of experience. I was constantly trying to pressure God into proving Himself to me again: I wanted Him to conform His love to my idea of a good show, a perfect dream.
“My perception of Your love was tainted by all the garbage that filled my soul,” I confess. “I knew nothing outside of contaminated impressions of life and You and me. I was in a really bad place. And it still amazes me that I can tell You these things in the past tense. Apart from You assuming the role of my Neighbor and Friend, I would still be there; the confusion and excuses continuing to reign over me. But, now You are the King.
“And as Your precious servant, I have been set upon a rock solid foundation, where I need not question the origins of my Hope, for there You are beside Me. The conclusion of the story–though I’ve not gotten there yet, I nevertheless know: You have won the victory in my life. No obstacle has stopped You; nothing has made You come up weak–short of the mighty triumph that was Your goal. I have been made stronger internally than I ever imagined I could be. You have given me hope and instructed me in a love-your-God-with-all-your-mind kind of worship. I am free…and I can only think that You are the reason!