Trading sleepless moments for a sweet embrace

“Alright, Lord,” I announce. “Rest won’t come to me in slumber and my heart is irritable with my restlessness, so here I lay before You.” With a sigh, I lean into hope: “I don’t know what Your purposes can make of moments like these, but I’d like You to make me a witness of a new form of grace, if You please.” The request is offered in weak faith, yet it is set before a positively powerful and earnestly eager God.

He waits on the wings of deepest night and earliest morning for requests like these. He whispers in the darkness a secret I can’t quite comprehend: I am one who has unconsciously been honored with the opportunity to engage Him at an irregular hour. It is my privilege to lay aside the thought of my own trouble and reach out for His unchanging mercies. As I do so, I will grasp in a new way the meaning of these gifts that wake the morning.

I twist and turn a bit, letting a thought or two of disagreement pass through my mind. I would like to be zapped with an appreciation for this blessed occasion, but the option is not presented to me. The only provision God gives is an invitation for me to exercise faith in what He declares to be true. I must act as though this is a period of time–however long it lasts–in which I can enjoy untold pleasures with my Lord.

He alone knows what may be–will I bank on that and put my heart in His hands? I do, and then He shows me something new–something that chases away all that made me blue.

This for Me, My child, is a perfect moment: My name is on your lips. The difficulty of the moment has sharpened your expectation for Me and there is no way that I will not rise to meet you in the midst of what I have ignited. Yes, dearest one, sleep is far away, but don’t spend your time fretting about it and wasting time. After all, I am up and I want to speak while no one else can yet be heard, lifting their voice in competition with the Divine. Yes, savor this precious bit of silence–the secrets that swim between us will more than make it worth embracing!

3 thoughts on “Trading sleepless moments for a sweet embrace

  1. Did you fall asleep in the end?

    I’m struggling to sleep. Not just because of the new baby. Mostly because I’m just not sleeping. Which isn’t helpful when I so desperately need to be rested right now …

    1. Aw…it probably wasn’t until 5 or 6AM that I did go to sleep, but I’m so sorry that you’re not able to sleep. That can be such a struggle…especially when life doesn’t slow down to match your energy level. I had a long period (5 months straight months last year) when I could only fall asleep after all the night was gone. It was pretty frustrating, but I can say that in a very unusual form of weakness God met me in ways I’ve never experienced any other way. I’ll pray for you…that even while this lasts you will be drawn closer to Him so that you may know His goodness in sleep and restlessness.

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