Guilt is the unwelcome guest at every feast you’ve ever had with God. You have heard that there is supposed to be pleasure in these occasions, but you don’t feel any. In fact, you have a hard time imagining that such a thing is possible. Between God’s extreme holiness and your deplorable sinfulness, relating with God–even after you’ve received Christ’s sacrifice for your sin–seems like nothing better than an immense chore.
You wonder why God ever wanted a relationship with you in the first place. I mean, maybe if you tried really hard, you might be able to accept the reality of His wish to extend forgiveness and pardon to mankind. But why would He try to then establish a connection with the very individuals who never treated Him as He deserved before? The thought may strike you as relational suicide, with the only explanation for such being that God is really dumb. And surely, He can’t be that dumb.
But, what if this has nothing to do with being dumb. What if it has everything to do with Love–a love that will not give up on or relinquish It’s object no matter how exceptionally you fail. This is a Love that is too deep to be earned; to precious to be manipulated. It is yours for the taking because it is His for the sharing. You don’t have to worry about abusing this love with your humanness; It has already been broken for you. Christ put Himself through everything for you so that you wouldn’t have any second-guesses.
But, maybe you have second-guesses. Maybe you can’t quite release yourself from a particular in-your-head-replay of sin that seems to contest everything that Christ has accomplished for you. Will you pour out the matter to God, asking Him for every ounce of power necessary to claim His victory as your own?