I’m so obsessed with me today. I just don’t know how to get beyond what I’m going through and how I want relief from trials God is allowing to be a part of my life at this time. With my pains as the gauge of God’s sovereignty, I can’t help feeling that some requests and complaints are in order. I can’t imagine a greater purpose in His dealings with me than sheltering me from intense experiences of need.
But the truth that has confronted me all day, and will continue to do so, is this: If God has a plan to work through evil, who am I to say that He should not? Attempting to function as His counselor serves a nonexistent purpose if He has not called upon me to assist Him in such a way. Now, surely, as my Father, God will hear my petitions words and take full account of my heart and its longings, but I must not expect the only demonstration of relevant care from Him to consist of Him setting aside His own wisdom to adapt Himself to my own.
When I relate with God in the midst of tough times, I must understand that the end of testing is not so much to end the difficult circumstances as it is to get to know my Savior better. Therefore, I must daily–even hourly, if need be–put aside all thought of manipulating God to adjust His plans to fit me. Because the main drive of His plans is holiness, He cannot affirm petty suggestions I make for a return to comfort and bliss that make nothing of Christ.
Rather, He relentlessly urges me to join Him in what He’s doing while the pain continues. He wants to waste not a moment of what I’m going through. His intention is that this would be a time for me to learn quietness when I would like to scream; trust when doubts run wild within me; contentment when my flesh reminds me again and again that I am not comfortable with what God is letting take place in my case.
He is not satisfied with me having a spiritual understanding that subsists in my memory of literary jewels located in such and such a verse. He wants His truth to mean something to me, personally; otherwise, His Word has not accomplish the purpose for which He sent it. Tribulations of the soul provide an excellent context for my faith to be built up in the only One who can feed my soul.
Even the strongest desires of my flesh, when fulfilled, cannot leave my spirit without longing. Thus, God shifts my attention from desires that are only temporal to ones that are eternal. He alerts me to the fact that more than just sating my physical and emotional cravings for comfort and pleasure, He has always wanted to the chief satisfaction of my soul. I was made for Him and no one else, nothing else. So, as long as I have Him, I may know that my being will be cared for in the most comprehensive way possible.
What about you: Are you struggling with some aspect of God’s will today? Have you, like me, been wrestling with the urge to tell Him what to do with you and how? Please leave a comment below, I would love to encourage and pray for you!