She bends to pick up the shards that remain after the blasting she’s received. After the events that’s God’s allowed in her life, she can’t make sense of the God she thought she knew. Too much about His sovereign handling of her experience doesn’t make sense in this moment. She wants out of this turmoil, but the sense of expectation He’s put in her heart won’t let her.
There’s more to this moment than she knows, of that much she’s aware. She can’t squeeze her perceptions of God into a 60-second evaluation. Somehow, her heart needs longevity, characteristic of unwavering love, to be infused into her soul. Oh, God, she pleads, come and bring a quiet to my insides that only You can affect. I want to endure with You through all things, recognizing that all my life–every single one of its details–is really about me getting to know You more.
You know I don’t see that clearly now, but You will make me see it as I need to.
Today, I choose to cling to the truth that You will be my hope no matter what assaults my heart. Because of You, Hope will not be drowned out by my circumstances, any more than it can drown out my desires. I can hold on because, though I am weak, I’m finding You in my weakness. You’re greater than my heart and still You consider it a treasure to pursue and make fully Yours.