Fill me up already, Lord!

My heart is occupied with grief, tonight, Lord.

I’ve run out of me

and there doesn’t seem enough of You to fill the gaps.

My heart has well been instructed by Your love,

to want what You want

but, what You want in this instance seems much too far out of reach.

I can’t hold on–

my limits are too restricted.

I’m so tempted to tell You this is just too hard:

my body threatens to give out on me

and my heart teeter-totters between hope and despair.

I wish I were stronger;

that I wasn’t plagued this way–

that I could make You proud by how I handle hardship.

But, God, I can’t hold out

for a salvation that comes from anyone but You.

How evident You make it that I need a firmer ground

than I can find in myself;

a place to call my refuge

when nothing You’re doing seems safe.

So, Father, I beseech You:

Lift my soul up till I can see Your face

and know that You are all I need.

I’m so weak; I feel like I can’t continue on,

even while my heart is in Your hands.

But, still You enable my confidence to grow

in Your love’s enduring ability to maintain my joy.