Have you ever been called jealous or greedy or snobby by someone you thought had a doctorate degree in that same sin? Have you ever felt misrepresented, mistreated, misunderstood? Have you ever felt like you couldn’t let the offense go because the other person hadn’t changed his or her mind about you?
Have you ever felt caught in a web of deceit; maligned by the inappropriate judgments of another? Have you ever felt like your life and well-being actually hinged on how others thought of you?
I have. I do. I will. It’s a regular theme with me. I really have little idea how to live my life any other way. I think I can actually win at this game. After all, I’m a winner, it’s just other people who are deluded. And even that will prove to be only a temporary problem when they finally get acquainted with the real me.
Yeah, I know, what a hope! How little, you must wonder, would I have to think about if I didn’t have this to occupy my mind? I realize it’s an addiction, but I’m not ready to give it up so long as I am dependent on it serving the purpose it does in my heart.
I must want more than self-clarification; I must want more than pride maintenance and self-edification. I need a make-over of the heart. But I can’t be the one to do it. If I do it, I will draw attention away from my sin and accentuate my spiritual “look” with a slathering of cheap hues of righteousness.
I need a deeper job than that. I need righteousness to bloom on the inside of me so that it can work it’s way out. I need the hand of my make-up Artist to have His way with me. I need to consent to more than a few touch-ups; I need complete reconstruction. I need God’s evaluation to be the only authority on my look. I need to keep my mouth shut and disregard what others have to say–except it has a hint for me of God’s evaluation.
Whatever request He makes of me I must gladly attend. What other reason could He have for making such requests but that He wants to make His work complete? If His honor is wrapped up in what He’s doing in me, can’t I trust that He will do a good job with me?