Do you ever feel like that: Like God is making you run around and worry because you can’t find out what He’s doing? Yeah, been there, done that. Or, should I say–if I want to be honest–I am there, doing that.
I know, it’s horrible. I wish I could say that was in the past. But it’s not quite as simple as that. I’m not that done with this. I’m still wanting to play this out. I still think it will work for me…somehow. (I don’t have an example ready for you, yet I’m still gonna stick with it.)
I know that’s so convincing. Which makes me wonder why I do stick with it. What do I think I have to gain from this? Or is it that I’m afraid I don’t know how to do anything else? I think the fear one ranks highest today. I’m afraid I don’t have any other way to respond to life but to fear. (That sounds down-right scary, doesn’t it?)
So what do you do when fear has a hold on you like this? You live like fear is a messenger, telling you where peace is not abiding in your heart. You investigate that place and ask God why He can’t commune with you there. Is it because your beliefs about Him keep Him on the outside? Is it because your beliefs about yourself are so rooted in independence that you make Him unnecessary? If so, then this is your real problem; fear is only a symptom. Therefore, treat it accordingly. Put it before God and say, “I’m feeling fear because _______.” And if you don’t know how to fill in the blank, let Him fill it in–He knows better than you about this anyway.
There, stop trying to keep up with God and instead, let Him check-up on you from time to time. Let it be a regular thing. Remind yourself that if you let Him check you out you’ll have enough on your hands that you won’t have to worry if He’s doing a good job; you’ll know He’s doing a bigger job than you could do!