Will things ever get better for me when I have all this garbage to handle?

I have asked this question so many times. I have been confident that the answer is no; that God does not care about me so much as I would like Him to; that He is somehow too passive to deal with my pain as it should be handled.

But how should my pain be handled? I generally look upon my surroundings and wait for Him to do something grand. When I think He’s taking too long, I summon all my understanding of the matter and scream: “Get rid of what’s out there! Can’t you see it’s killing me inside?”

But lately, I’ve discovered something new. I been learning to draw near to God with an open heart. I come with a deeper concern than what’s going on outside. I come expecting Him to do something inside. I do this because that’s where the pain is; that’s where I really need Him to do something with me; that’s where His presence will make the grandest difference I know.

With grand expectations of a heart visit, I ask, “Would You please come inside? I’m hurting so much and I need You to handle me, Lord. Don’t skip over me to handle my problems, please, Lord; instead, skip over my problems to handle me. I am the one who needs you–I am the one that was made for You. I am the one who will rejoice to experience more of You. I am the one to whom You must draw near. I am the one You must pull close and reassure. I am the one You must quiet with Your love. I am the one who discovers who You really are and loves You more because of it. I am the one who thanks you because all of this is true and most of all You are true!”

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