My mistaken home: Learning how to live where I don’t belong on the way to where I do

I don’t think I realized till today just how unintelligent I am of the waiting process. I look at everything as preparation for something else. Hardships are good because they always lead to something bigger and better. But, there’s a part of me that hasn’t been acknowledging that some of the difficulties that I face each day are “just life.” I can expect things to be like that. I can expect to struggle–that is the nature of things here.

Yeah, I don’t like it, but that doesn’t mean I can invent a theology to overcome it. I learn to live with it. I learn to embrace the fact that there is more to my experience than this life. I learn to bless God for redeeming this world that is so complicated with sin and strain. I thank Him for providing heaven, though I so invest so little of my hopes there. I learn to look up more. But I also learn to look into my struggles and say, “Hello, soul–yes, they’re still there.” I’m not going to escape them because I’m really good and I’m not going to override their affect by acquainting them with profound spiritual meaning.

I’m just going to live with them. I’m going to hang on to God and do the best that can be done. The circumstance is my temporary boundary–the magistrate that reminds me I’m human and this is not my home. I am not a superhero because of Christ; rather, I have a superhero because of Christ. This is not the home-place that defines me, it merely the wilderness-place that refines me. I look to a higher place and yet I’m still humbled by this place. I wait for the very best, yet I rejoice amidst what is not the very worst–because of Christ. I hold onto hope and breathe–this is the place God still has me in, and I don’t want to miss Him while I’m in it.

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