Lord, I challenge You to a duel!

I don’t know what’s wrong with me at the moment. I just need more of Jesus, I know, but I’m just not sure how that’s going to change me. What does He need to do with me? And why doesn’t He get on with it?

Is my problem really with what’s going on or with what’s not going on?

Do you ever feel the need to challenge God? I do. My problem is not usually when I’m challenging Him, but when I am trying so hard not to–at least not audibly. And yet my heart holds the burden all the while.

Why do I think that I’m doing really well if I’m avoiding such vital honesty with Him? I want Him to be beholden to me; it is a far better option than conceding to the opposite. I can’t deal with that.

Or, can I? I don’t really want what I fight for. I just don’t know how to host a cease fire. Thank goodness God takes on that responsibility!!

But what does that look like?

Grace moves in and silences the fears that scream in my heart. I know of no other way He could claim my heart so lovingly.