Boredom seems to eat away at my soul–slowly depleting my hardy reserves of faith and hope and love. What is the matter, Lord? Why aren’t You doing the things You keep insisting You will? Why do You find it necessary to wait–especially when the echoes of this silence stifle my cries for an outbreak of divine commotion?
How could You fail to meet my expectations for a very exciting God in this moment of my life? I see You doing things, but I am left feeling like You are holding out on me. What is going on here? Do my senses lie or am I just not ready for what You’ve got planned next?
I don’t think I can bear much more stillness. My prayer muscles seem thoroughly fatigued: Could this mean the prayer-only stage of this process is coming to an end? I thought I was content with the routine You and I had going, but now You are switching everything up on me. I can’t really put my finger on anything, but my spirit is sensing a lot of “never-been-here-before” and “what-could-be-next…” And let me say that these spiritual syndromes really don’t feel all that fun right now!
I want to ask, “Couldn’t You give me more clues, Lord?” Since You know everything, isn’t it about time that You decided I could know the same? I’m impatient and weary. I would think everything should be all wrong because of these musings of mine, but yet all seems right on track–I just haven’t figured out which track that is yet.
Could You help; could You give me whatever it is You know I need right now? I don’t know how to ask any more. I have exhausted all that I know in the form of requests and suggestions. I need only grace and another glimpse of Your glory.