I want to love God with all my heart and no exceptions. I don’t want to post my limits on where that love can take me or the way I will allow it to bear on my heart. I don’t want any part of a freedom that does not know Christ the crucified — He who purchased the fullness of this for me.
I want to remember that I love because He loved me. And if I run out of amunition for this passion, I pray that I would seek knowledge of Him that alone can possess me with critical desire for my Savior.
By instinct I follow the ways of my parents (sinners), by instinct I walk in the ways of my God-less orientation (sin), by instinct I follow the lead of Satan (my greatest enemy).
Living by instinct makes no sense. It spells ease of operation, but difficulty in the outcome. If I want life, I must turn from the ways of my parents and teachers and mentors to the one who not merely models life in varying degrees as every “good” person does, but is the personification of it.
I have the good and the bad from my parents (often in more of an extreme); there is no such thing as being born a clean slate. I have habits and patterns of execution that mimic those with whom I have had a form of intimacy. We live together, I learn from them; we work together, I boast their impact in my own style.
If I really want to “take control of my destiny” I need to give God control of it. I need Him to make my orientation after His orientation. Therefore, I need His Spirit within me, becoming the strongest influence — in fact, the “mover” — in my life.
I may decide that I will rebel against my primary influences apart from God, but this can really only go so far. If I base my identity on someone else — even if I am concentrating on not being like them — I will normally end with just trying to avoid their mistakes, and not dealing with my own. Rather than becoming what I am supposed to be, I suppose that I am fine as I am so long as I am not like them.
I want more than that. I want to find out who I am in relation to others and apart from them. God is involved in everything about me, and He wants to be freely permitted to expose the good and bad in me and deal with it so that I can glorify Him as I embrace what He originally intended me to be.
Even if God gave us the whole world (which He has), we couldn’t enjoy it because our sin would be in the way.
Our sin would turn us more against God in prosperity than in adversity. We are prone to reject God and suffer the consequences; we do not like what represents God apart from Him cleansing us to love the Truth.
Sin takes up so much space in my heart that where it abounds (in places of my heart that God has not already taken over) there is no room for His righteousness to blossom. Sin cripples my ability to be fruitful because it will not have any part of the Word of God.
These seeds of God’s precepts must have a good, fertile soil to be nourished in — not for the sake of the seed, but for the sake of my absorbing that good seed. But my sin my insides as hard as rock and my exterior as impenetrable as the same so that no word of God can ever go beneath the surface of me.
Yet, His Word is dynamite and His Spirit is TNT to my soul’s defenses against Him. Satan can’t even stand up against that — sin was crucified in Christ and now there’s nothing holding me back from obtaining Christ for my Master of delight.