I have lived my life not by generosity but by frugality. But my frugality has been focused on my heart’s supply of mercy and love and grace.
In my bitterness toward the mistreatment wicked people bring upon “less” wicked people, I definitely had my problems with some of God’s policies. Take Matthew 5:45 for instance:
This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.
I have never been able to understand that. Either you deserve something or you don’t. So why would God ever treat wicked men and women with kindness? Why does God bless individuals who don’t give a hoot about Him?
Why, when I find fault with God and choose to take my own way, does He not withhold every mark of His favor?
I still don’t understand this, but I’m glad that He ever got me to the point of asking that last question. He’s letting me see that I would be in the same boat with the rest of the God’s damnation-ready creatures if it were not for Christ. He alone secures for me the enduring kindness of God. If it were not for Him, His patience in bearing with my sin would run out.
Christ has gotten me out of that boat that knows only one destination — hell. He has already gone down in that ship on His own mission — securing all the favor that belongs to sinless ones and taking all the disfavor that awaits the sinner I have been.
If it was judgment I deserved it, and if it was anything else I was a debtor to God’s grace. So how can I fault God for exercising His administrative privilege as He pleases? If He was not so generous with others, would He have borne with me or been intent on redeeming me from my ill-intentioned spirit?
If I hold God in judgment, am I not saying that the gift God has afforded me is incomplete; that it is impossible for Christ to be gratifying to me in view of mercies He has extended to others? Am I not missing the whole point of God revealing Himself to us this way?
I have nothing if I don’t have Christ, so how can I begrudge others their “common grace” blessings from the Father? If He can point them to Him through means of these gifts than His grace is stronger than I have been willing to realize.