Complaining. I don’t know about you, but I like to complain. I like to believe that I have that freedom, and that my words can have a significant influence on my unpleasant circumstances.
For example, I hate being alone when I haven’t chosen solitude. When I have to adapt to my circumstance I wonder: how this will help and not hurt me, especially when I’ve already passed several days of this restriction? Must I again accept this when I believe I could benefit so much more from talking and hanging out with my family and friends?
I look at occasional days that pain augments my ongoing fatigue and question the appropriateness of being further burdened.
I beg for only the bare minimum in the intensity of these endurance tests.
On particularly hard days, when one more thing must be given up or is taken away from me, I ask: Lord, how much do you think I can take? I am human — I can only endure such a restricted lifestyle, diet and community. Am I really learning that much more than I would if I could still have some of these things?
And God’s response is, Do you think that I am not enough? Do you doubt My wisdom in leading you down this path of hardships? Do you think that you know so much more about living than I? Are you so opposed to dependence on Me that you would refuse walking so closely with Me to delight yourself in lesser and lighter pleasures? Is your food and life not contingent on more than bread and basic human relationships? Will you think I am worth it enough to reach out and take My hand, believing I walk through all the hardship with you?
My child, I am showing you that you don’t know how to live this life. I am bringing you closer to Me, so I can lead you, teach you, and, yes, enrich you. Like My servants Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah on My diet — My provision — you will emerge from My tests radiant and glowing. And You will lead everyone around you in praising the Name of Your God who has created through extraordinary means a difference in you that will enhance the vision of His glory in your world.
Oh, how can I complain when my Father holds me so close like this; when the hardships He walks me through are for a purpose so much higher and loftier than I?