I am angry today. I have to sort through things that I don’t want to, like: awful preconceptions, bitter emotions, envy, faulty judgments, and negative attitudes. So much in me that keeps me from fully loving others and standing in awe of my Lord. So much in me that thinks I’m better-off if I can continue to rationalize my distance from other people because they constantly fail to live up to my standards. So much in me that thinks I always have the best way. So much in me that wonders what everyone elses’ problem is. So much in me that thinks, I, as imperfect as I am, am the closest thing to perfection the world is going to meet. So much in me that just does not even want to receive the Truth for who He is, so much better than I.
I want to think that I am perfect, or shall soon be wholly there, because this is the only way I know to feel good about my world, myself.
I do not “get” that things begin with Christ and the gift He came to give us, and we can never be confident that we have seen the end of something unless Christ has revealed it to us in Himself.
And since I need not try to be the beginning or the end of anything — gratefully leaving all that to Him to expose who He truly is — I can be content with finding myself somewhere in the middle. I can also bless the Lord for the many different individuals He has put around me fill up this middle place. I will rejoice and be glad for how God is constantly working to humble each one of us through our interactions with other sinners saved by His ever-abounding grace.