The Cost of Being Used

All my life I have wanted to be used. I wanted to be a vessel that pointed others to Christ, and caused hearts to rejoice in all that He could be to a person, starting with me. But, I didn’t know that it would come with this price-tag.

To tell you the truth, shopping for and purchasing this is choosing to pass by all the bargain-buys, in search of the most priceless object. I want that priceless object, but I don’t like living in poverty and patience that I may continue to hope I will fully obtain it. I was hoping to gain this, and some other nice things on the side. But, right now, in so many ways, this is all I have.

Yes, it is all I need, but I have not reached that high and lofty place (which I’m not sure exists) where I don’t want anything else. In fact, the more I pursue this one thing I find in Christ, the more persistently He makes me aware of just how many other things I am trying to find satisfaction in simultaneously.

I want it all, but I don’t want it all to be found in One place. I want my treasures to be spread out before me, that no matter where I go, I may have riches in full along the way.

But, that is not so for me. I only have one option if I want lasting rewards. The richest gain I know comes with an across the board loss. I am stripped of all other things, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him. No other things are needed for me to find contentment or comfort or care. I need Him. Period.

Now, if I can just learn to live this and love it. If only the treasure would wax so gloriously in my estimation that I could agree with God that the cost of laying aside my dependence on all other things is more than a worthy payment to commit to the advantage of being filled with Him!

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