I look up to the mountains; does my strength come from mountains?
No, my strength comes from God,
who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.
He won’t let you stumble,
your Guardian God won’t fall asleep.
Not on your life! Israel’s
Guardian will never doze or sleep.
God’s your Guardian,
right at your side to protect you—
Shielding you from sunstroke,
sheltering you from moonstroke.
God guards you from every evil,
he guards your very life.
He guards you when you leave and when you return,
he guards you now, he guards you always.
Psalm 121 (emphasis mine)
A couple of weeks ago the Lord was dealing with me in how I like to try to separate the secular and the spiritual. I like to think that God can be found in little windows of time and place, and no where else. I like to think that I only find God when I am looking for Him; that I’m the one in charge of where things go with us.
But, how could I think that? How could I want to think that when I need Him so much? I go through a time in my life when I don’t know what it means to emerge from the other side of the tunnel, and I hold onto the idea that God is with me everywhere, knowing everything, for dear life! Yet, when the tunnel disappears in the background, I forget what it was like to be there. I wonder if it was all real, or just my gut response to things I didn’t like about my life.
But even if everything in my life is not much more than my response to things, I cannot explain why I am responding better now without saying that God did something I still do not completely understand. He gave me faith that He will see me through to the other side, and hope that this will all turn out for my good because I love Him, and He is loving me in all that I’m going through.
So, my question is not really am I where God wants me to be, or am I doing what I’m supposed to, but what is God trying to do with me? Though there is such mystery in my life, and I am often so unsure when I take a step ahead, God doesn’t mean for me to figure it all out and make the best cut of my life, but to give me every reason I need to trust Him and let Him lead me where I need to go.