Eclipsing the Son

They came close to him and said, “All we want to do is build corrals for our livestock and towns for our families. Then we’ll take up arms and take the front lines, leading the people of Israel to their place. We’ll be able to leave our families secure in fortified towns, safe from those who live in the land.

Numbers 32: 16-17 (The Message)

I focus so intently on what I do, or how I get along, that I forget why it is that I live, Who I live by and Whom should receive my greatest attention. I want to always be right, and never necessitate reproach, so I go above and beyond to rearrange any externals that might elicit this.

I want a way to eliminate my need to be real and then deal with the consequences. I want things to always go well, and for myself to always appear exemplary in action and motive.

I am looking for so much that I often lose sight of what I am sacrificing to pursuit all this me-centered satisfaction. I am missing God, eclipsing His Son and running at full steam into a dead end. I have lost sight of what is really worth seeking after.