Let Me Be First

Sometimes to receive God’s best means to wait for Him to riddle our desire for less.
There is a surprising difference between God’s best and our best. Generally, I am not aware of, or inclined to recognize this gulf. I have my reasons for thinking things are best, and I would rather God didn’t toy with them.
When God disarms what I like, He is also, unmistakably, performing an act of spiritual arrest. I am the culprit, He is the Judge. And without fail, the idea is that I am the one with a need for change.
Kind of interesting, if you ask me: We will never find God going around wondering what He could do to change, to become more agreeable to the human race, or to fit in with His non-existent peers. God is not looking for that kind of approval and perfection…I am.
But isn’t it crazy, that right in the middle of our need for transformation, we find it most convenient to insist that God must change for us? We do this when we make it clear to God that we haven’t come to terms with His ways of dealing with us. We forget that sin (ours) is so bad, and ask for an easier remedy. There is really not so much wrong with me, just the choices God is making on my behalf; God is wrong, and I could name all the reasons why…
How it must grieve our one true Friend that we would so distrust Him, as to discredit His ways! When we do, it is to assume that we know more about God and us that it is impossible to believe that He could possibly disprove our understanding of the two.
What a loss this is to us! Not only will we miss a true understanding of ourselves, but God’s divine revelation of Himself will always be closed to us. We claim to have knowledge, but lack understanding. Christ alone is the Truth, if He be not in us, we who claim to be without sin, or to have the solution are liars.
Let me be the first to say that I am not the biggest fan of God or His ways. He stumps me, and regularly seems to only get in my way. There are plenty of times when I wish I could just remove His actions from the equation, and make my life what I wish it would be. Then everything would be right.
But, it is when I am most sure of this, that my Father whispers in my deaf ear, “I am your best.” And I realize that without Him I have life by the tail, yet with this guarantee: You will never be satisfied; without Life, living doesn’t much matter, whether I am free to do what I wish or not.

“You sent me help for my needs once and again. Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit. I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received…the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.”

Philippians 4: 16-20, 23

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