A Holy Mess

Do you ever feel like your life is so far from what it should be, yet God, Whom you are expecting to deliver you, seems indifferent? Maybe you have already asked Him to “fix” some things in your life. Because you find yourself still waiting, you perceive He is not doing what He is supposed to be doing for you. I have spent a lot of time in this spot: wondering how God, who is so powerful, could be so negligent; especially when He sees that I am so powerless to affect a decent outcome in the mess that I am in.

When God has not been prompt in power, I have expected Him to be forth-right with answers. (At least if I had the knowledge to make sense of my problems, I could try to do something about them.) But when even the answers I asked for have failed to appear, I have been disappointed in God. Wavering back and forth on the precipise of doubt, I often found it easy to believe that God had set me up for a free-fall.

Our lives facilitate a variety of needs that may have us teetering on the edge of the unknown, waiting for God to rescue us. A bad situation, relationship, illness, or even a season of our life can appear to be working overtime to disadvantage us. They either interrupt the plans we treasure, or ruin the lives we treasure more. Trying to be patient as you wait for God’s timing seems a waste of effort when He has apparently lost His schedule or the sticky note we posted with our request. Our troubles become only more pertinent with the passing of time, while our rational expertise leads us to wonder, Where is He? or Has He forgotten that I am in trouble?             

Adversities like this have one objective we cannot miss: They are allowed by God to test our faith — whether it be in us or in Him. Challenges to our own understanding insist that we focus instead on the adequacy of God’s understanding. The safest place for us to be is not in our comfort zone, but in the zone of God’s activity. To be removed to the center of God’s activity may feel more like we have been dropped into the midst of a disaster than a blessing, yet the point we need to be most aware of is that God is the One we are to look to in our confusion.

In the storms of life, God is no less concerned with our wellbeing, than we are. He is in fact more concerned; nevertheless He manifests His concern much differently than we would usually expect (especially when it comes to our highest priorities in life). Therefore, we have to learn to be sensitive to the gap between our reasoning and God’s. He is never disregarding the needs closest to our hearts. Instead, He purposely turns the storm we are in whichever way will let us see our heart’s deepest need. God is the only One Who is all that our hearts can need. Therefore He will refocus our attention on Him so that our heart can discover our Ultimate Satisfaction and Delight. When God satisfies us, we discover peace that begins in the heart, and pours out into our whole life. We can trust God to right our lives once we have trusted Him with our heart. When He has our heart, He can teach us to see how close we are to His heart. Only when we know God’s heart can we have faith in the manner and timing of the outcome He chooses for our lives.

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