God is not a caught-it-all-on-paper God

God has me in a place
where I am compelled
to ask for more than I
would ever dare to otherwise.
Is that not a good thing?

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I cry because I dreamed hope was more than You

I cry because I can’t
I cry because it doesn’t
seem fair
that I should be put
through this
I cry because what I dreamed
seems so far away.
But You’re here
assuring me
that things are different
this time,
You are with me
and I can deal with all
because grace is mine
for everything that breaks
my heart.

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Are You sure You’re enough for me, Lord?

I thought I needed You,
but along with a lot of other things.
Well, some of those things have come,
some have not,
and some were taken from what
I already had.
Through it all,
You are left.
I guess You were all I needed
after all.

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Stay Tuned: The Programmer is about to be revealed!

Stay tuned.
This is not about what you’re missing
out on today,
but about what you’ll
recognize as blessing tomorrow.

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Wholeness isn’t about needing God less…

can it
that You promise to make my heart
at the same time
You give Your consent to the stirring up of
anxiety that hides beneath the surface of my tender
heart? how can You make anything better, inviting every
to get as awful as it
…is there anything about You that makes sense? your best
leaves me baffled, but healed.
isn’t about needing You less, but wanting You

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What ifs might beat the rewards we find in bliss

What if You chose to make me
like You,
more than You chose to make
me pleased
with never feeling the need
to question
the sanity of Your behavior or
ask why
Your heart doesn’t agree
with mine.
Maybe change, when You
bring it,
is more useful
and precious
than a thousand days
of bliss
that never get me
any nearer
to Your heart than I was the
day before.

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What if Your love…changed my questions?

What if Your love
is not meant to be contained
in a single day,
or revealed in the answer
to a solitary prayer?
What if Your love
is bigger, deeper
than the bite-sized portions
I make of my life,
when I try to judge whether
You are good
by what I like and what I
What if my life is a whole
that was not meant to be divided
because You are most
personal to me,
when I stop trying to see You
through the details
and begin to see the themes
through You.

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